Guess what? I'm retaining!! tts if jjc permits me to.. with 1 thousand plus J1 students this yr.. I dun think they'll allow.. But I've already consulted Subash and he thinks that I should retain if I feel that i'll need another year to catch up.. So i've more or less decided, just waiting for my reply.. this is my life my future so i should ultimately be the 1 deciding so if anything goes wrong and I start regretting, i'll have myself to blame. (according to fook -.-) Thanks great friend.. I think its better for me to start J1 all over again rather than come back next yr after screwing up my A levels to repeat J2 cos my J1 foundation would still be unstable.. I've talked to my parents about this and since dad says "Go Ahead!", I should! haiz.. I'll miss 06A06.. all the fun and laughters.. all the times we spent slacking at fk's hse.. finally bonding through drama fest.. going for class jamming and even thinking of forming a band... oh my gosh.. so many memories...

And yes.. this is one of the days when I feel really emotional and just wanna spill everything out so that i'll feel alot better inside... I guess I cant really change the fact that i'm jus an emo kid walking ard with a mask and trying my best to fit in... Its in me and I cant really help it.. This is an emo blog.. dont read it if u dun wan to.. dun comment if u dun wan to and dun think i'm thinking too much if u r reading this.. :) hmm.. so where shall I start? oh yes.. i shall separate this into many entries so that it doesnt get too draggy...

May your light shine...
in the darkness...

yeah!! chinese a level results r out! I got an A! although my oral is only a merit, but i'm still very surprised bout my results! I still tot i might get a D... cos i remember not doing very well for the paper... hmm.. my dad suspects that the examiner marked wrongly.. -.- when i told him tt i got back my a level chinese result he said he would be really happy if I got a D... n when i told him i got an A he was lyk 'How come?? did the examiner mark wrongly?' -,- thanks dad.. so now i'm thinking whether should I use my chinese grade to secure a place in the university? cos I noe my other subjects arent tt good and chinese is not counted for the courses in uni but they'll probably place more focus on chinese for courses like mass com(chinese) or smth along tt line.. hmm.. sk wans to get into mass com.. advertising.. or design i think... heard her talking bout it a few times.. n I tot tt it might be a gd idea for me too.. since the arts courses r not really my forte n interest wise.. i'm not really sure cos it alwaes changes i guess.. haiz... i dunno.. better not to think tt much now... i'll have another six mths to think bout it after the a level exams... n for now.. i shall jus concentrate on striving for more alternatives later.. =) at this rate I dun even noe whether I can get dere... =( lols...

May your light shine...
in the darkness...

With the blink of an eye, another day has passed.. tmr we will all be getting our a level chinese result.. worried? not really.. dun think i'll do well anyway.. i'll definitely have to retake so no pt in panicking at this hour.. seriously, blogs are not really considered an online diary since ur frens have access to it and you cant really write about ur true feelings.. thus, blogs are for good impression and not for free expression.. i guess i've said it once or twice before but it doesnt really matter.. :D haha.. its really ironic how people tell me to change my blog cos its too emo when i'm actually using this blog to express my feelings.. haha.. tts just a comment.. today.. haha msged me online and we chatted on the msn for about half an hr.. i realised that i'm no longer able to guess what his actions meant or what's he trying to do.. but really, i dont think i wanna waste my time cracking my brains on such matters when it all ends up to nothing.. I remember those times where i would still blame myself for everything i've done and how i didnt treasure and took everything for granted. Now.. those days are over and its time to move on and if only he would take a look at me now, he'd thank god tt he chose to let go.. Finally the econs test is over and it feels good to have gotten a load off my back although i only hope to get a borderline fail but I know I've tried so the outcome does not matter at all..

It's better to love and lost than to never love at all.. (quote frm apple)

=) i'm sorry i just cant trust you as i'd rather believe my instincts....

With the blink of an eye, another day has passed.. tmr we will all be getting our a level chinese result.. worried? not really.. dun think i'll do well anyway.. i'll definitely have to retake so no pt in panicking at this hour.. seriously, blogs are not really considered an online diary since ur frens have access to it and you cant really write about ur true feelings.. thus, blogs are for good impression and not for free expression.. i guess i've said it once or twice before but it doesnt really matter.. :D haha.. its really ironic how people tell me to change my blog cos its too emo when i'm actually using this blog to express my feelings.. haha.. tts just a comment.. today.. haha msged me online and we chatted on the msn for about half an hr.. i realised that i'm no longer able to guess what his actions meant or what's he trying to do.. but really, i dont think i wanna waste my time cracking my brains on such matters when it all ends up to nothing.. I remember those times where i would still blame myself for everything i've done and how i didnt treasure and took everything for granted. Now.. those days are over and its time to move on and if only he would take a look at me now, he'd thank god tt he chose to let go.. Finally the econs test is over and it feels good to have gotten a load off my back although i only hope to get a borderline fail but I know I've tried so the outcome does not matter at all..

It's better to love and lost than to never love at all.. (quote frm apple)

=) i'm sorry i just cant trust you as i'd rather believe my instincts....

May your light shine...
in the darkness...