Thursday, August 24, 2006
todae... didnt get to smile much.. didnt get a gd laugh.. didnt have anything gd 2 last me throughout the nite.. so i'll jus keep crappin bout sad stuff until i feel better.. hee.. hmm.. todae i took the early bus.. so i sat on the bus alone.. as a result, joleen felt lethargic the whole dae bcos i wasnt dere 2 start her dae! lol!! =( n i didnt get 2 open my mouth too when i was in the bus. lonely... so i listened 2 spirited away n slowly drifted into lalaland.. haiz... had a hard time walking cos my fats r taking over me. plus my bag.. ahh.. i was practically wading ard the sch.. todae is lyk 1 of the earliest daes so when i reached hm.. i managed to get some sleep..before tt i was trying to convince joleen on the reasons of me not wanting to go back to sch on teacher's dae..i'm realli sori if i agitated u but i have my reasons n i hope u'll understand.. i'm not forcing u to not go as well.. in fact. i seriously hoped tt u wld go without me.. cos i realli dun wan to regret meeting em since i dun realli have a gd experience wif the previous outing.. anywae. i'm not realli close to the teachers.. nor the students.. so wad's the point? realli soori... i promise i'll reconsider but pls dun b angry.. haiz.. i'm a failure.. how i wished tt ppl who hate me will come n tell me straight in the face n wake my bloody mind up~!! i'm losing it... tsk tsk.. wait.. where was i? oh.. sleep.. oh.. yes.. speaking bout sleep.. SLEEPING was supposed 2 make me feel recharged when i wake up but NO!! i woke up with a headache.! oh my.. n now.. i'm lost.. dunno wad 2 do nxt.. right now.. i wish there was a slapping machine to slap me real hard so tt my face wld get smaller.. lol.. sori.. tt was rather random.. well.. i guess tts me.. very random n anti-climax.. crazy most of the times... i should realli stop thinking.. its getting scary.. i wouldnt wan 2 scare my frens away.. i do appreciate when they try 2 help though..
i m a failure.. total failure..
4 yrs of secondary education yet no accomplishment..
nothing to call my own
nothing 2 hold back
evrything 2 regret
nothing to ask for..
oh... god of mama!!!!!
Monday, August 21, 2006
todae is mondae.. n the mondae blues r killing me! lol.. hmm.. nth much happened 2dae.. met joleen on the bus n started pouring out evrythin tt happened during the weekend... recently.. i have been keeping some things to myself.. guess i fear tt if i sae it out.. it wont happen again.. confusing huh? its supposed 2 b so... anywae..i lyk meeting joleen in the morning.. i'll start crapping n get realli energized b4 i start my dae! poor joleen.. has 2 bear wif my crap.. nxt.. reach sch.. lessons as per normal.. (boring) n madi scolded us.. she looked realli angry.. well u cant blame me.. i m realli trying.. how will i noe how 2 approach her when i dun even noe wad qn 2 ask her?? haiz... den we went for chinese.. i tried my best 2 keep quiet ok! but how quiet can i b? i m sitting beside emily! oh my..! den we had maths.. as usual.. dunno a thing.. den econs.. zzz.. den sch's over! yea! we were doin aq... i finished mine early n started 2 disturb every1.. ming ming finished nxt .. shes realli fast.. emily was the last! 3 hrs ago she was on the 1st paragraph.. 3 hrs later shes still on the same paragraph.. -.- she was looking 4 her motivation.. who went hiding in 1 corner..mugging.. lol.. den he went off n so emily lost mood of doin her aq.. n we head hm! was wif clement on the way hm.. started interrogating him.. lol.. found out some very interesting facts... lol.. ok.. so here i m n b4 i leave i wld lyk 2 thank ming ming for she thought me alot on msn 2nite.. thanks alot! although i m still very confused but things r definitely clearer den b4! i'll not forget tt we have 2 do 100 situps tonite!!:D
Saturday, August 19, 2006
oh my.. i spent the whole dae ushering!! haha.. not exactly.. since its onli frm 3-7.. lol.. i woke up at 11.. so its lyk half the dae gone already.. thank god the whole thing was fun overall.. or i'll b lyk screaming the dae away.. lucky deres emily too.. or i'll b so bored.. Thank god!! anyway.. todae is alot on p*** n e**** n very little of me -.- sad.. but its kinda fun cos we were again screaming our heads off wif the songs n everything.. n emily! u shall regret not waiting 4 the bus wif me 4 the rest of ur life!! lol.. surprisingly jia whei msg me todae.. although i was realli boring n took a few hrs 2 reply his msgs.. we managed 2 carry on our conversation till 11.. aft tt i think he sorta gave up waiting.. -.-ll n jiawhei! dun think u can try 2 get info bout joleen jus by msging me! dream on! =p haiz.. so many things to do.. so little time... haiz... so boring.. parents nagging all dae.... i jus wanna die!!!!! ok goodbye =)
Friday, August 18, 2006
lol.. todae we went 2 mediacorp 2 support the student councils.. ! so fun teasing emalie! haha.. me.. sk n emalie were lyk super enthu..ming ming joined us later on the bus! think i'm gonna have a sore throat tmr.. omg! stupid camera! come so close! my face damn big la! haiz! hope they cut tt part.. too ugly.. evry1 wld b lyk.. 'ah! kua tio gui!!' haiz haiz... havent been blogging 4 the past few daes. so i left out some important details lyk the jey jey leadership camp! oh my! my lg.. hmm.. nt bad la.. still tok although they now call me fishball.. -.-ll ahhh.. miss vb training!! sian.. joleen ps me!!! fine!!! pumpkin tried 2 sell me some holy spring water todae.. 18 bucks!! goodness!! i m so not gonna buy.. hey.. tt does not mean i dun support u k! go pumpkin!! deep in a little corner of ur heart u'll find me dere cheering 4 u.. toking bout cheering..---> leaders ----> chinese riddle competition---> usher ----> full u n tie! ---> 3 - 7!!!!!! ----> no time ----> pw ----> fail ---> all subjects ----> retain ----> die! .. haha.. i m stella dedalus!! a whole full crap of associations!!! oh my!! so excited! we r goin k box again!! woo hoo!!! excited x 500!!!!
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
todae is Grandma's bday! actually its tmr but we decided to celebrate it todae.. i didnt noe wad 2 get 4 her so i got her a purse(it aint cheap ok!!).. den we went 2 tis 88 restaurant for dinner.. omg.. the service sucks! the lady supervisor had a 'u owe me a thousand bucks!' face.. n the tea.. omg.. its jus water with a few chrysanthemum petals.. goodness! aniwae.. hope my grandma likes my present...hee..haiz... haven studied for history yet.. dun feel lyk taking the test..lol.. ahh.. history sucks.. cant even remember wad i read last sun.. forget it.. i give up!! haiz.. i wanna go cycling.. aww... ok.. nth much 2 sae alreadi.... shall end here.. yawnZzz
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
灰色的天空
灰色的世界
沒有一個機會是我把握的住的
沒有一種幸福是屬於我的
沒有人在你身邊保護你
呵護你
有的只是一堆造成趨避衝突的問題
沒有人能為我分析
也沒有人能給我答案
可笑的生日
只能在眼淚中度過...
tis was wad dear pumpkin said to me on msn aft he read my blog..
*
hey you...relax ok!..friends come friends go..but i dun think your circle of friends are getting distant..it's just that as we grow..we do our own stuffs sometimes and we dont get to do things together anymore..i learnt to accept that
i do miss jia whei jason kkh and ALOT AND ALOT of ppl in GMSS including the malay stall auntie and her curry chicken
take things in ur stride..
even if you have to be a lonewolf..so be it..
but chances are you wont be..
cos im HERE
STILL ALIVE DAMMIT!
thanks pumpkin.. for all tt u've said realli cheered me up! i m so glad to noe u.. n tts 1 gd thing of me being in ghim moh.. somehow i have jason to thank ( although i m not willing to) for he was the 1 hu sort of introduced me 2 u!( although we were in the same class frm sec 2 onwards..) aniwae.. Thanks alot!!! u'll alwaes be my soulmate.. my pumpkin... my sista!!!
mango here... ^-^
oh my..
never thought tt i wld create a blog somedae.. ahhh... dun think tis wld last long aniwae.. haiz... todae is a realli depressing dae.. went back to sch n everyone said tt i've grown fatter..! ahh.. but tts not tt bad since i have alwaes been fat.. aniwae.. went out wif josephine n joleen 2 pastamania.. den stroll ard town lyk the secondary sch daes... aww.. miss those times.. but evrything doesnt feel the same anymore.. we have a gap between us n nuthin wld b the same again.. todae when we were strolling.. we jus suddenly lost the whole happy mood n drift into depression.. every1 started looking realli tired n bored.. haiz... its been a long time since we went out n now.. haiz.. somehow i dun think the rest miss me lyk i miss ém.. maybe i m thinking too much.. i hope i m.. but evrytime when they reject me when i asked em out.. it onli shows tt my intuition is rite.. i dun realli wanna sae tis out in public but i jus wanna let some1 noe bout my problems... tts all.. i sacrificed ice skating wif my new classmates jus to be wif em ( i realli was enticipating the ice skating thingy b4 they decided on the meeting) n when i got home.. all i can think of is my stupid actions in the dae... my stupid character.. my stupid fate! why is it tt i dun get frens tt really cares?! or wld accept n lyk me 4 hu i m.. hu wldnt point out my flaws.. or mock at me?? i used to think they wld.. their my real frens.. my soulmates... but now.. look at us!! maybe i m not supposed to b in this clique.. maybe i was jus nt gd enuf for em. maybe my existence wld onli bring down their reputation.. maybe.. if i were to sae tis to em.. they'll probably sae i m thinkin too much.. n so will my sec sch frens.. nobody realli understands how its lyk 2 be alone when u r actually wif a grp of frens.. i used to think tt even if i do not have any frens in jj.. its doesnt realli matter since deep inside i m not alone.. but now i have no 1 to really tok 2.. to the extent tt now.. i'm toking to the computer!! jj frens r realli fun to mix wif but they're nv realli dere when u need em.. they'll probably think i have a problem if i jus burst out in tears.. somehow i pity chiwawa.. tt shes ostracized by so many ppl.. i think i'm lyk her.. deep inside.. haiz.. hmm.. lemme try to think of smth fun to cheer me up.. ah! the camp! ahhh..... but i dunno if i m goin or not... haven paid the money yet.. dun noe the packing list... dunno the grps.. haiz.. dunnoe if i m still inside... sounds realli fun though,... nono.. cant sae tt.. everytime i expected smth to turn out fun.. it nv did.. -.- so i'm nt gonna sae anything yet.. :x mouth closed n pray hard... hmm.. so is tt how long an entry shld b? havnt been reading blogs so i dun noe.. hmm.. oh well.. since i have nth to sae alreadi.. i shld jus end here.. feels so much better to get it all out... woo hoo!!~~~
Thanks to all the blogs i referred to (countless) for html code help :) (esp. cyn' and sixseven)
Adobe Photoshop Elements for supernatural abilities
